I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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