ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
His nipple licking is glorious
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