it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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