The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
