i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
