I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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