i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You dont lie about slip and slides
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
