Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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