ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
