Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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