In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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