We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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