Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
