i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Houston, we have a blender
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
