you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
