i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
