so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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