Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
