Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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