I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
