fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
