please come you make the beer taste better
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
