I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
