you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
