she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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