just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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