I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
