Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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