Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
