Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
