Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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