dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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