I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
