omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
