I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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