Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
