is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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