No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
