Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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