About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
