New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
