I hate your face
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
