you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
