you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
