whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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