Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
