How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
