You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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