How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
