Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
