Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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