Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
