I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize