I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
