We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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