Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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