He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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