If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
