Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
