I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
