Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
