That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
