"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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